That’s not my name

So, today I have been called a variety of names – sweetheart, petal, love – all by male colleagues.  Do I like this?  No I don’t.  Would be different if these men were my grandfathers or older relatives who had known me all my life but I work with these men.  I even received an email last week, sent to me and a female colleague which started ‘Hello gals’ – this from a man I’ve met once.  Am I being hypersensitive to this or am I justified in my dislike of ‘pet’ names in the office?  The cynical side of me thinks it’s just another example of men trying to assert themselves in the workplace, perhaps threatened by a woman who isn’t there to make the tea and so try to ‘diminish’ my presence by talking to me like a child.  However, the other side of me thinks I’m perhaps being oversensitive and perhaps should not thinks anything of the ‘loves’ and ‘petals’, or should I try it in return and pepper my conversations with the odd ’sweetie’ or ‘chicken’?  Any thoughts?

Who’s to blame?

So, still full of the joys of spring after a particularly eventful day in London (including a trip to the top floor of the Gherkin – very impressive) I was very much looking forward to a dinner date with three of the ladies tonight.  All was planned for me to pick up lady 1 and 2 and meet lady 3 there.  However, lady 1, who had a baby back in December, texted me this afternon telling that her husband was in a ’strop’ about her coming out this evening as he felt that she would be, and I quote, ‘too far away’ should anything happen, and so she wouldn’t be joining us for dinner this evening after all.   It’s probably necessary to point out that ‘too far away’ equates to a 15 – 20 minute drive away from home.

Initially I was angry with him for daring to suggest that she couldn’t come out – is he not the baby’s father?  Has he not had 5 months to learn how to look after his own child?  What does he suppose she would do ‘if something happen’ during the day when she’s on her own with THEIR child and he’s hundreds of miles away (as he often is with work)?  Will she not be allowed to stray more than 10 minutes from her own home until the child is old enough to leave home and get a job? 

 But surely some of the blame lies with her?  Who, in this day and age, allows their partner to dictate when they’re allowed to go out?  I was under the impression that parenting was a shared occupation – has she excluded him so much from the child caring that he’s unable to cope on his own for a couple of hours?  Does she salt and pepper his dinner that she’s lovingly prepared to be on the table waiting the minute he walks in the door from work (as my great-grandmother apparently used to do for my great-grandfather)?  Is the reality that she doesn’t trust him to be left on his own with their child?

Despite protests from me and ladies 2 & 3, lady 1 still couldn’t be persuaded to come out, which does inevitably lead us to question what this husband ’strop’ could possibly entail.  I’m disappointed, angry and frustrated that the situation has even arisen.  Perhaps this particular husband thinks that staying at home with a child 24-7 is some kind of luxury and a treat for lady number 1, rather than the often thankless task of raising children.  Why should his wife want to go out and leave the child? 

The child in question is a lovely baby girl and I just hope that she doesn’t follow her mother’s current example and that she becomes an empowered, independent and strong-minded young lady. 

 As for the husband, his ears should have been well and truly burning after our conversations over dinner….