So, still full of the joys of spring after a particularly eventful day in London (including a trip to the top floor of the Gherkin – very impressive) I was very much looking forward to a dinner date with three of the ladies tonight. All was planned for me to pick up lady 1 and 2 and meet lady 3 there. However, lady 1, who had a baby back in December, texted me this afternon telling that her husband was in a ’strop’ about her coming out this evening as he felt that she would be, and I quote, ‘too far away’ should anything happen, and so she wouldn’t be joining us for dinner this evening after all. It’s probably necessary to point out that ‘too far away’ equates to a 15 – 20 minute drive away from home.
Initially I was angry with him for daring to suggest that she couldn’t come out – is he not the baby’s father? Has he not had 5 months to learn how to look after his own child? What does he suppose she would do ‘if something happen’ during the day when she’s on her own with THEIR child and he’s hundreds of miles away (as he often is with work)? Will she not be allowed to stray more than 10 minutes from her own home until the child is old enough to leave home and get a job?
But surely some of the blame lies with her? Who, in this day and age, allows their partner to dictate when they’re allowed to go out? I was under the impression that parenting was a shared occupation – has she excluded him so much from the child caring that he’s unable to cope on his own for a couple of hours? Does she salt and pepper his dinner that she’s lovingly prepared to be on the table waiting the minute he walks in the door from work (as my great-grandmother apparently used to do for my great-grandfather)? Is the reality that she doesn’t trust him to be left on his own with their child?
Despite protests from me and ladies 2 & 3, lady 1 still couldn’t be persuaded to come out, which does inevitably lead us to question what this husband ’strop’ could possibly entail. I’m disappointed, angry and frustrated that the situation has even arisen. Perhaps this particular husband thinks that staying at home with a child 24-7 is some kind of luxury and a treat for lady number 1, rather than the often thankless task of raising children. Why should his wife want to go out and leave the child?
The child in question is a lovely baby girl and I just hope that she doesn’t follow her mother’s current example and that she becomes an empowered, independent and strong-minded young lady.
As for the husband, his ears should have been well and truly burning after our conversations over dinner….
Absolutement lady! Very frustrating. Surely an important part of being a mother/wife etc is keeping your own identity, personality, individuality…and friends? A ladies dinner on a school night isn’t going to be a raucous drunken bash; it’s gonna be (and was) a lush evening of nice gossip and lovely food. It’s a shame the husband feels she can’t be independent; but on the other hand, I agree, she should have put her foot (in heels, ready for girls dinner) down.
Comment by ck — April 16, 2008 @ 2:03 pm
People should read this.
Comment by Eupemia — November 12, 2008 @ 1:11 am